Getting Away with It

Of course, if I could get away with anything it would have to be robbing all the funds from the Federal Reserve. Although this is an absolute impossibility, so far as my own talents will permit, the thought of never having to worry about the stresses and strains of financial insecurity brings a certain amount of solace to my mind that makes me wish that it were possible. If I were somehow to collect the testicular fortitude to attempt such a hopeless heist and fail, the consequences would be life in a federal penitentiary — not my idea of fun.

Now to visit the world of reality, where the things that I wish I could do and get away with are completely within the constraints of my own abilities, but I am unwilling to do them because of the absolutely certain consequences I would suffer. More than anything, I wish I could tell some of the people I work with to just f**k off and mind their own business. I don’t understand how some people see it as a bad thing that to have a good work ethic and want things done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Unfortunately, some of the people I’d like to tell these things to are directly responsible for determining whether or not I keep my employment.

I remember getting out of having to go to ISS for skipping class by writing a note in pencil saying that I would get extra credit if I had a parent sign a note saying that they had read the syllabus for one of  my classes. My mom signed in pen, I then erased everything I had written in pencil and rewrote the note to say that I was home sick the day before.